So I want to try to actually get this down while its actually fresh in my thoughts. I think I have time to get everything out. Ha. I definitely have to do something intense thinking over the next few months. I'll be 18 in less than 2 weeks. I graduate in 2 months. I leave for college in 4 1/2 months. It'll definitely be a good bit of adjusting to do. Especially with the fact that 95% of my social circles will change. I'm not going to have a whole lot of time to maintain friendships back home because, of course, I will be busy maintaining good grades as well as working a job. I realized that by having a job, I won't be able to come home as frequently because there will be times when I'll have to work on weekends. It never really processed until this weekend I guess lol (so many things have come into perspective lately). However, there is one friendship that I would really like to maintain. The only thing is, I'm not exactly sure how. The situation will be a complicated one. BIG time. But I don't know... maybe.. if God still wants me to have that friendship, it'll become easy to maintain. If its time to move away from that friendship, then God will help me move away. I just have to trust Him completely about it.
I'm starting to become nervous about my new life. However, I'm excited at the same time. Thinking about the new faces that I will be able to see. The new friends that I will be able to meet. I really believe that I will meet some people that are going to be in my life... for well... the rest of my life. I'm ready to face the next four years of my life.
I'm somehow a little pessimistic about, well... I guess I can say it.. boys. Its not that I ABSOLUTELY NEED to be in a relationship, but there are times when I sit back and think about if, it'll ever happen to me. Then I think about the who's, what's, when's, and where's. Then sometimes, I wonder if I need to re-evaluate my preferences. Or just continue being patient. Sometimes being patient is REALLY hard.. Especially when hardly anyone else is doing the same. Sometimes I also wonder if its just my "shy-ness" that gets in the way. Or maybe being shy is a good thing in this case. Then sometimes I wonder if.. well.. my past is holding me back... All it took was one relationship. Sometimes, in the back of my mind, I'm scared that the same exact things will happen again. I do know that I don't want to enter into a relationship with that kind of bondage. Definitely can't do that. I have to get free from a good bit of things that I have affected me in my past.. and some of the things that are affecting me in the future.
Then I realized that I need to value myself a bit more than what I do now. I have been making progress, but there are still some things that I really need to adjust/change. Some standards that I've dropped or built because of some insecurities that remain.
These are all pretty much things that I need to give to God. I have to spend a LOT more time with Him as I continue on this journey. I know without Him, it will definitely take a LOT longer for me to complete all of this stuff...
hmmm...
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Thoughts
I had the opportunity to go to a wedding this afternoon for Briana Dawkins. it's interesting because now that I am pretty much able to make my own decisions as far as going places and participating in things, so when it comes to weddings, I'm very selective about the ones that I go to. Pretty much because there are a lot of people nowadays that get married for the wrong reasons, or in some cases, they aren't ready for marriage. Those factors are basically the ones that lead to divorce. My dad and I somehow have a pet peeve of that. Definitely.
Well... anyways.. I've had the opportunity to play basketball with Bri during my 8th grade year and her sister, April during 8th and 9th grade. After the 10th grade, I would probably see them every now and then. But it was always great to see/talk to them when I did. I have been able to see their family maintain a lifestyle of purity. They LOVED God with everything within them.
Bri' wedding was phenomenal! Christ centered, simple, but I have to say that it was the most beautiful and BEST wedding that I have ever been to. It is kind of how I would like for my wedding to be... Christ centered. Of course the wedding was for them, but you could see how much they would pull away from themselves to serve God whole heartedly (sp). It was very well explained how when two people come closer to each other as they become closer to God. It was definitely something to think about.
Well... anyways.. I've had the opportunity to play basketball with Bri during my 8th grade year and her sister, April during 8th and 9th grade. After the 10th grade, I would probably see them every now and then. But it was always great to see/talk to them when I did. I have been able to see their family maintain a lifestyle of purity. They LOVED God with everything within them.
Bri' wedding was phenomenal! Christ centered, simple, but I have to say that it was the most beautiful and BEST wedding that I have ever been to. It is kind of how I would like for my wedding to be... Christ centered. Of course the wedding was for them, but you could see how much they would pull away from themselves to serve God whole heartedly (sp). It was very well explained how when two people come closer to each other as they become closer to God. It was definitely something to think about.
Monday, March 1, 2010
hmm
1. Do you think you eat more than you should?
no
2. What is your favorite meal?
pizza.. or something chinese
3. What did you have for dinner today (or yesterday)?
emm I didn't eat dinner last night
4. What is your favorite dessert?
ice cream :D
5. Can you cook well?
yeah
6. Are you a fruit or veggie person?
i'm so fruit definitely
7. What is your favorite restaurant to go to?
hmm Applebee's and I like Red Robin and Cheeburger Cheeburger
8. Do you feel comfortable with your weight?
yep.. I could tone up a bit though
9. Are you vegetarian or vegan?
not really.. considering being a partial vegetarian though
10. Describe your normal eating habits
emm I kind of eat little snacks here and there multiple times a day
1. How much do you find yourself thinking about sex?
not that much.. I'm pure =)
2. Are you still a virgin?
yes
3. If not, who did you lose your virginity to and when?
4. Do you believe you should be in love to have sex?
I mean.. why have sex with someone you're not married to? why marry someone you don't love?
5. Have you ever cheated on your significant other?
no
6. What the first thing you look for in a boy/girl?
the way his hair looks and the way he dresses.. it somehow shows in part the way he carries himself... maturity..responsibility.. personality.. and what his standards are
7. Do you have any special fantasies?
emm haha
8. Have you been in lust more than love?
well.. apparently.. because I've been hurt SO much by it in the past... but now.. no
9. Would you have sex with more than one person?
no
10. Who in your life do you feel the most lust for?
I don't lust after anyone
Greed
1. What do you want more than anything right now?
ice cream lol
2. Does money play an important part of your life?
em its important to have if I need something.. but at the moment no.. because my parents buy a lot of my stuff.. but in college.. I'll have to get a job to pay for leisure stuff, so yeah it'll be pretty important
3. What are your goals for the future?
finish school... start career.. start a family.. raise them well
4. Do you think money is more important than love?
no
5. If you were given one million dollars right now, what would you do with it?
tithe.. buy necessities.. budget.. save
6. Has anyone ever called you spoiled or greedy?
emm spoiled.. yeah lol
7. Do your parents have a lot of money?
I think so..
8. How much money do you spend in one week?
not much
9. Do/would you share with people that are less fortunate?
it depends on the way they take care of things.. there are some less fortunate people who treat things like CRAP and that's why they're less fortunate
10. Have you ever robbed someone?
no
Sloth
1. Have many people called you lazy?
emm none?
2. How much sleep do you get at night?
it depends on the day.. sometimes I don't sleep that well at night lol so I spend most/all of my morning sleeping lol
3. Do you often take naps in the middle of the day?
it depends on the time I get up in the morning
4. What was the most depressing time of your life?
emm junior year ha
5. What is the best way to relax?
reading my bible/talking to God.. writing
6. Would you consider yourself more of a follower or leader?
leader
7. Would you consider yourself a caring person?
yes
8. What time do you go to bed at night?
I don't remember
9. What do you waste most of your time doing?
facebook lol.. but I do get other stuff done
10. Would you rather go out somewhere or stay home?
go out.. I guess
Wrath
1. Who was the last person you were upset with?
Michael
2. What is the meanest thing you’ve ever done to someone?
tied them up w/ duct tape lol
3. Do you hate anyone?
no
4. Are you angry a lot?
no
5. What was the last thing that made you mad?
#1.. and the fact that I'm sure he twisted stories up, etc. acting like he's the victim
6. Have you even been in a physical fight with someone?
yeah
7. Has there been a time that you wanted to seek revenge?
yeah
8. What is your biggest pet peeve?
emm idk.. incorrect usage of grammar in text... lol
9. How do you express your anger and frustration?
write..
10. Is it easy for you to forgive?
it depends..
Envy
1. Who are you most jealous of?
no one
2. What is something you want that your best friend has?
my own car lol
3. What is one thing you think you are lacking in life?
emm nothing really
5. How would you consider yourself lucky?
I live in a two parents home with parents that are in love with each other.. and I'm a college-bound senior =)
6. Unlucky?
emm... nothing that I know of
7. Have you ever felt sorry for yourself?
yeah
8. Overall, do you think you have everything you need?
not everything... there are still areas that I need to grow in that will allow me to better prepare for the things that I need in the future
9. Is there anyone that has been envious of you?
probably
10. Do you want a better life than what you have?
no
Pride
1. What is your best physical feature?
my eyes..
2. What do you like most about your personality?
I'm determined.. not easily angered.. articulate
3. How much time do you take to get ready in the morning?
it depends.. like a half hour
4. Do you wear a lot of make-up?
no
5. How often do you go shopping?
ehh when i feel like it
6. Are your looks very important to you?
they have importance.. but not the most important thing
7. Would you ever like to be a model?
I did it once
8. What could be improved about your body?
I need some more tone.. I lost a lot of it by not playing bball =( gym time
9. Do you think that you’re better than others?
no
10. What is your most embarrassing moment?
ehh idk
no
2. What is your favorite meal?
pizza.. or something chinese
3. What did you have for dinner today (or yesterday)?
emm I didn't eat dinner last night
4. What is your favorite dessert?
ice cream :D
5. Can you cook well?
yeah
6. Are you a fruit or veggie person?
i'm so fruit definitely
7. What is your favorite restaurant to go to?
hmm Applebee's and I like Red Robin and Cheeburger Cheeburger
8. Do you feel comfortable with your weight?
yep.. I could tone up a bit though
9. Are you vegetarian or vegan?
not really.. considering being a partial vegetarian though
10. Describe your normal eating habits
emm I kind of eat little snacks here and there multiple times a day
1. How much do you find yourself thinking about sex?
not that much.. I'm pure =)
2. Are you still a virgin?
yes
3. If not, who did you lose your virginity to and when?
4. Do you believe you should be in love to have sex?
I mean.. why have sex with someone you're not married to? why marry someone you don't love?
5. Have you ever cheated on your significant other?
no
6. What the first thing you look for in a boy/girl?
the way his hair looks and the way he dresses.. it somehow shows in part the way he carries himself... maturity..responsibility.. personality.. and what his standards are
7. Do you have any special fantasies?
emm haha
8. Have you been in lust more than love?
well.. apparently.. because I've been hurt SO much by it in the past... but now.. no
9. Would you have sex with more than one person?
no
10. Who in your life do you feel the most lust for?
I don't lust after anyone
Greed
1. What do you want more than anything right now?
ice cream lol
2. Does money play an important part of your life?
em its important to have if I need something.. but at the moment no.. because my parents buy a lot of my stuff.. but in college.. I'll have to get a job to pay for leisure stuff, so yeah it'll be pretty important
3. What are your goals for the future?
finish school... start career.. start a family.. raise them well
4. Do you think money is more important than love?
no
5. If you were given one million dollars right now, what would you do with it?
tithe.. buy necessities.. budget.. save
6. Has anyone ever called you spoiled or greedy?
emm spoiled.. yeah lol
7. Do your parents have a lot of money?
I think so..
8. How much money do you spend in one week?
not much
9. Do/would you share with people that are less fortunate?
it depends on the way they take care of things.. there are some less fortunate people who treat things like CRAP and that's why they're less fortunate
10. Have you ever robbed someone?
no
Sloth
1. Have many people called you lazy?
emm none?
2. How much sleep do you get at night?
it depends on the day.. sometimes I don't sleep that well at night lol so I spend most/all of my morning sleeping lol
3. Do you often take naps in the middle of the day?
it depends on the time I get up in the morning
4. What was the most depressing time of your life?
emm junior year ha
5. What is the best way to relax?
reading my bible/talking to God.. writing
6. Would you consider yourself more of a follower or leader?
leader
7. Would you consider yourself a caring person?
yes
8. What time do you go to bed at night?
I don't remember
9. What do you waste most of your time doing?
facebook lol.. but I do get other stuff done
10. Would you rather go out somewhere or stay home?
go out.. I guess
Wrath
1. Who was the last person you were upset with?
Michael
2. What is the meanest thing you’ve ever done to someone?
tied them up w/ duct tape lol
3. Do you hate anyone?
no
4. Are you angry a lot?
no
5. What was the last thing that made you mad?
#1.. and the fact that I'm sure he twisted stories up, etc. acting like he's the victim
6. Have you even been in a physical fight with someone?
yeah
7. Has there been a time that you wanted to seek revenge?
yeah
8. What is your biggest pet peeve?
emm idk.. incorrect usage of grammar in text... lol
9. How do you express your anger and frustration?
write..
10. Is it easy for you to forgive?
it depends..
Envy
1. Who are you most jealous of?
no one
2. What is something you want that your best friend has?
my own car lol
3. What is one thing you think you are lacking in life?
emm nothing really
5. How would you consider yourself lucky?
I live in a two parents home with parents that are in love with each other.. and I'm a college-bound senior =)
6. Unlucky?
emm... nothing that I know of
7. Have you ever felt sorry for yourself?
yeah
8. Overall, do you think you have everything you need?
not everything... there are still areas that I need to grow in that will allow me to better prepare for the things that I need in the future
9. Is there anyone that has been envious of you?
probably
10. Do you want a better life than what you have?
no
Pride
1. What is your best physical feature?
my eyes..
2. What do you like most about your personality?
I'm determined.. not easily angered.. articulate
3. How much time do you take to get ready in the morning?
it depends.. like a half hour
4. Do you wear a lot of make-up?
no
5. How often do you go shopping?
ehh when i feel like it
6. Are your looks very important to you?
they have importance.. but not the most important thing
7. Would you ever like to be a model?
I did it once
8. What could be improved about your body?
I need some more tone.. I lost a lot of it by not playing bball =( gym time
9. Do you think that you’re better than others?
no
10. What is your most embarrassing moment?
ehh idk
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Surveyyyy
First off, you're available right?
hm.. you can say that.. but not just for anyone =P
What are you doing for your next birthday?
hmm.. it'll be my 18th.. my plans are to have a dinner w/ my close friends on my birthday.. then go to VA Beach the next weekend and stay out ALL night =)
What are you looking forward to?
BIRRTHHDAYYY!!! =) getting my class ring.. graduation
Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
no
Do you have any hidden talents?
not... really...
Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
no.. I haven't done that in a while
Would you go out in public looking the way you do?
yes
Is your hair long enough to put in a ponytail?
yes
What are you thinking about right now?
emm... how thirsty I am
Does anyone call you babe?
not now
Do you get drunk every weekend?
no
Are you happier now than you were last year?
definitely
Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
yep
When is the next time you'll wash your hair?
em... probably next Tues./Wed.
If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
if I like him.. yes
Do you like someone right now?
yep
Does this person like you back?
That's a question that I.. don't know.. I haven't asked
What color was the last towel you used?
white
Can you swim well?
emm for the most part
What kind of first impression do you think you make?
hmm.. usually "quiet" lol
Name your last reason for using a camera.
I don't remember
Are you a happy person?
for the most part
What do you want?
ice cream
Did you enjoy your weekend?
hmm... it was ok
Lets cut to the chase, whats currently worrying you right now?
nothing =)
When was the last time you died your hair?
I had a color conditioner a week and a half ago
What's the weather like where you are?
its starting to warm up
When did you last cut your hair?
emm last April
Where are you?
kitchen
Where was your default picture taken?
school.. senior picture
If you could have one super power what would it be?
emm idk
What do you want to do?
not sure at the moment
Where do you think you will be in 10 years?
not sure yet location wise.. definitely pursuing my career
What does your phone do when it receives a new text?
vibrates
Would you ever take up photography as a career?
I could.. I like taking pictures
How many kids do you want when you're older?
2.. no more than 3
Is your name a common name?
nope
Do you know who your best friend is currently interested in?
no
Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with a J or C?
no
What would happen if you were suddenly in bed with the last person who text you?
emm I have no idea.. I'll definitely get up though
Would you rather pierce your tongue or lip?
lip
Its 12am, you wake up crying. You call?
God
What would you do if the person your crushing on now saw you without any clothes?
emm run and find some clothes
What does your most recent text message say?
I don't remember
If your boyfriend or girlfriend smoked pot, would you care?
yes
Would you change yourself for the person you love?
depends on the change...
What did you do today?
school... homework...
Has anyone upset you in the last few days?
yes.. very much
Tell me some song lyrics:
hmm.. all at once.. I had it all.. but it doesn't mean anything, now that you're gone... haha catchy song
Closest black thing to you?
keyboard
What kind of phone do you own?
some TNT junk
Where is your ex right now?
Idk
Last thing you drank?
tea
Ate?
pizza
Any song that brings back memories?
yeah
How's your heart?
great
Wear any perfume?
no.. I somehow have a reaction to the fumes =/
Favorite brand?
ehh idk
Do you keep a diary?
journal... yeah.. but not really at the moment, I decided to stop writing for a little bit
Were you single 6 months ago?
yes
How many texts are in your inbox?
ehh 40?
Describe your nails:
they need something done to them... I'll file them when I come back home from picking Nikki up from dance class
Describe your room:
white.. needs to be cleaned
Are you in a good mood?
I'm content
Who's your worst enemy?
the devil
Do you have good relationship with your parents?
yeah
hm.. you can say that.. but not just for anyone =P
What are you doing for your next birthday?
hmm.. it'll be my 18th.. my plans are to have a dinner w/ my close friends on my birthday.. then go to VA Beach the next weekend and stay out ALL night =)
What are you looking forward to?
BIRRTHHDAYYY!!! =) getting my class ring.. graduation
Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
no
Do you have any hidden talents?
not... really...
Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
no.. I haven't done that in a while
Would you go out in public looking the way you do?
yes
Is your hair long enough to put in a ponytail?
yes
What are you thinking about right now?
emm... how thirsty I am
Does anyone call you babe?
not now
Do you get drunk every weekend?
no
Are you happier now than you were last year?
definitely
Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
yep
When is the next time you'll wash your hair?
em... probably next Tues./Wed.
If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
if I like him.. yes
Do you like someone right now?
yep
Does this person like you back?
That's a question that I.. don't know.. I haven't asked
What color was the last towel you used?
white
Can you swim well?
emm for the most part
What kind of first impression do you think you make?
hmm.. usually "quiet" lol
Name your last reason for using a camera.
I don't remember
Are you a happy person?
for the most part
What do you want?
ice cream
Did you enjoy your weekend?
hmm... it was ok
Lets cut to the chase, whats currently worrying you right now?
nothing =)
When was the last time you died your hair?
I had a color conditioner a week and a half ago
What's the weather like where you are?
its starting to warm up
When did you last cut your hair?
emm last April
Where are you?
kitchen
Where was your default picture taken?
school.. senior picture
If you could have one super power what would it be?
emm idk
What do you want to do?
not sure at the moment
Where do you think you will be in 10 years?
not sure yet location wise.. definitely pursuing my career
What does your phone do when it receives a new text?
vibrates
Would you ever take up photography as a career?
I could.. I like taking pictures
How many kids do you want when you're older?
2.. no more than 3
Is your name a common name?
nope
Do you know who your best friend is currently interested in?
no
Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with a J or C?
no
What would happen if you were suddenly in bed with the last person who text you?
emm I have no idea.. I'll definitely get up though
Would you rather pierce your tongue or lip?
lip
Its 12am, you wake up crying. You call?
God
What would you do if the person your crushing on now saw you without any clothes?
emm run and find some clothes
What does your most recent text message say?
I don't remember
If your boyfriend or girlfriend smoked pot, would you care?
yes
Would you change yourself for the person you love?
depends on the change...
What did you do today?
school... homework...
Has anyone upset you in the last few days?
yes.. very much
Tell me some song lyrics:
hmm.. all at once.. I had it all.. but it doesn't mean anything, now that you're gone... haha catchy song
Closest black thing to you?
keyboard
What kind of phone do you own?
some TNT junk
Where is your ex right now?
Idk
Last thing you drank?
tea
Ate?
pizza
Any song that brings back memories?
yeah
How's your heart?
great
Wear any perfume?
no.. I somehow have a reaction to the fumes =/
Favorite brand?
ehh idk
Do you keep a diary?
journal... yeah.. but not really at the moment, I decided to stop writing for a little bit
Were you single 6 months ago?
yes
How many texts are in your inbox?
ehh 40?
Describe your nails:
they need something done to them... I'll file them when I come back home from picking Nikki up from dance class
Describe your room:
white.. needs to be cleaned
Are you in a good mood?
I'm content
Who's your worst enemy?
the devil
Do you have good relationship with your parents?
yeah
Birthday Plans
Definitely starting to get into this stuff now haha.
I'm currently deciding on what I should do for my birthday. I think I came up with a general plan.. But it was hard to do, because apparently, the things that most 18 year olds do for their birthday is go clubbing. I didn't want to do that for mine. Especially since my closest friends turn 18 after I do. I know that I want to do something that'll last until 3 or 4 AM.
Well... here are some ideas...
VA BEACH DAY-preferably April 16th. My birthday falls on a busy weekend.. So on the 9th, I'll do a small dinner. Then the 16th, I'll have a small group of friends (some are close.. some aren't.. but they're fun.. so idc) spend the day in va beach.. then come back late... I'm hoping that it'll be warm so that I can at least spend some time at the ocean.. Or at least look.. I love it there.
Stay in Richmond-go to Shokoe bottom or Short pump for a late night dinner.. then maybe a movie? idk it depends on what is open after midnight (hopefully something other than a club =/) Finding something fun to do in Richmond is rather difficult lol
Go to DC... that may work.. but I don't know too much about the area to plan something.. then its more of a metropolitan area.. so more traffic.. and a lot more tiring to pull off.. Then my parents and myself won't really feel comfortable with me driving in that area for the first time.. =/
Hmm then... I think that's all that I have... I'm still looking around for stuff, but it does seem as though VA Beach is a more fun and easiest thing to pull off...
I'm currently deciding on what I should do for my birthday. I think I came up with a general plan.. But it was hard to do, because apparently, the things that most 18 year olds do for their birthday is go clubbing. I didn't want to do that for mine. Especially since my closest friends turn 18 after I do. I know that I want to do something that'll last until 3 or 4 AM.
Well... here are some ideas...
VA BEACH DAY-preferably April 16th. My birthday falls on a busy weekend.. So on the 9th, I'll do a small dinner. Then the 16th, I'll have a small group of friends (some are close.. some aren't.. but they're fun.. so idc) spend the day in va beach.. then come back late... I'm hoping that it'll be warm so that I can at least spend some time at the ocean.. Or at least look.. I love it there.
Stay in Richmond-go to Shokoe bottom or Short pump for a late night dinner.. then maybe a movie? idk it depends on what is open after midnight (hopefully something other than a club =/) Finding something fun to do in Richmond is rather difficult lol
Go to DC... that may work.. but I don't know too much about the area to plan something.. then its more of a metropolitan area.. so more traffic.. and a lot more tiring to pull off.. Then my parents and myself won't really feel comfortable with me driving in that area for the first time.. =/
Hmm then... I think that's all that I have... I'm still looking around for stuff, but it does seem as though VA Beach is a more fun and easiest thing to pull off...
Sunday, February 21, 2010
House
I really think that I'm going to start writing on here quite often now.
I decided to kind of stop writing in an actual journal for a while. Pretty much because, since its a bit more personal, I kind of used my journal as like a venting tool instead of going to God about a problem. Then I noticed that writing something down actually makes you dwell on something.. sometimes a bit more than need be. I'm not sure when I'll start writing in it again, but for now, I'll just use this blog as.. well.. whatever.
But in the meantime, because I've stopped writing in my journal, I've actually spent more time with God. By both reading my bible and praying. Here's the interesting thing about this, for however long I can remember, I would either just read my bible regularly, or pray regularly.. So... if I read my bible, I would have a challenge remembering to pray or something.. then the same with praying. But I find myself doing both.. and boy.. they definitely go hand in hand. I've definitely had a very clear thought process over the past week. So many things that God has revealed to me.
But over the weekend, God has definitely revealed a different approach to the importance of keeping His house in order. The bible mentions repetitively about things concerning the kingdom of God. He specifies that we are His kingdom: Our body is the temple of God. 1Cor. 3:16-17 in the MSG bible says: You realize, don't you, that you are the temple of God, and God himself is present in you? No one will get by with vandalizing God's temple, you can be sure of that. God's temple is sacred—and you, remember, are the temple. If you read through different stories in the Bible, you will come across the popular event of Jesus tossing over tables in the temple. Not a lot of things really affected Jesus. But when He got to the temple. Do you recall how he reacted? He was furious and very hurt because the house of God was being defiled. No one at that moment, like 1 Corinthians states, got away with doing that Its like, if you think about it in our modern terms, any tampering with the house of God, is His pet peeve. A MAJOR no-no. So if we are the kingdom of God, and we defile His temple in any way (to ourselves, or others), how is that going to affect us? We won't get away with it for sure.
God has given people authority positions over/in His kingdom. For example, family. He gives the man (father), complete charge, dominion, and responsibility over his family. The male leader.. well High Priest, has FULL responsibility of anything and EVERYTHING that comes in and out of his house. If a man has 3 kids and in some way one of them went to hell, God hold HIM responsible. But at the same time, if there are people who aren't even his children living in his home, he is still held responsible for what they do.
Then this is kind of similar to the instructions given to appointed ministers, well... actually it can apply to all of us because God has given all of us instructions to preach the gospel to everyone as well as being of help to His church in any way. Paul says in 1 Timothy 3 that "If anyone wants to provide leadership in the church, good! But there are preconditions: A leader must be well-thought-of, committed to his wife, cool and collected, accessible, and hospitable. He must know what he's talking about, not be overfond of wine, not pushy but gentle, not thin-skinned, not money-hungry. He must handle his own affairs well, attentive to his own children and having their respect. For if someone is unable to handle his own affairs, how can he take care of God's church? He must not be a new believer, lest the position go to his head and the Devil trip him up. Outsiders must think well of him, or else the Devil will figure out a way to lure him into his trap." Later on Paul clarifies that those who serve in the church in any way should follow under these same guidelines.
Its something to think and chew on.. keeping the House of God in order is of necessity...
I decided to kind of stop writing in an actual journal for a while. Pretty much because, since its a bit more personal, I kind of used my journal as like a venting tool instead of going to God about a problem. Then I noticed that writing something down actually makes you dwell on something.. sometimes a bit more than need be. I'm not sure when I'll start writing in it again, but for now, I'll just use this blog as.. well.. whatever.
But in the meantime, because I've stopped writing in my journal, I've actually spent more time with God. By both reading my bible and praying. Here's the interesting thing about this, for however long I can remember, I would either just read my bible regularly, or pray regularly.. So... if I read my bible, I would have a challenge remembering to pray or something.. then the same with praying. But I find myself doing both.. and boy.. they definitely go hand in hand. I've definitely had a very clear thought process over the past week. So many things that God has revealed to me.
But over the weekend, God has definitely revealed a different approach to the importance of keeping His house in order. The bible mentions repetitively about things concerning the kingdom of God. He specifies that we are His kingdom: Our body is the temple of God. 1Cor. 3:16-17 in the MSG bible says: You realize, don't you, that you are the temple of God, and God himself is present in you? No one will get by with vandalizing God's temple, you can be sure of that. God's temple is sacred—and you, remember, are the temple. If you read through different stories in the Bible, you will come across the popular event of Jesus tossing over tables in the temple. Not a lot of things really affected Jesus. But when He got to the temple. Do you recall how he reacted? He was furious and very hurt because the house of God was being defiled. No one at that moment, like 1 Corinthians states, got away with doing that Its like, if you think about it in our modern terms, any tampering with the house of God, is His pet peeve. A MAJOR no-no. So if we are the kingdom of God, and we defile His temple in any way (to ourselves, or others), how is that going to affect us? We won't get away with it for sure.
God has given people authority positions over/in His kingdom. For example, family. He gives the man (father), complete charge, dominion, and responsibility over his family. The male leader.. well High Priest, has FULL responsibility of anything and EVERYTHING that comes in and out of his house. If a man has 3 kids and in some way one of them went to hell, God hold HIM responsible. But at the same time, if there are people who aren't even his children living in his home, he is still held responsible for what they do.
Then this is kind of similar to the instructions given to appointed ministers, well... actually it can apply to all of us because God has given all of us instructions to preach the gospel to everyone as well as being of help to His church in any way. Paul says in 1 Timothy 3 that "If anyone wants to provide leadership in the church, good! But there are preconditions: A leader must be well-thought-of, committed to his wife, cool and collected, accessible, and hospitable. He must know what he's talking about, not be overfond of wine, not pushy but gentle, not thin-skinned, not money-hungry. He must handle his own affairs well, attentive to his own children and having their respect. For if someone is unable to handle his own affairs, how can he take care of God's church? He must not be a new believer, lest the position go to his head and the Devil trip him up. Outsiders must think well of him, or else the Devil will figure out a way to lure him into his trap." Later on Paul clarifies that those who serve in the church in any way should follow under these same guidelines.
Its something to think and chew on.. keeping the House of God in order is of necessity...
Saturday, February 20, 2010
just an evaluation
I will try to make this as grammatically correct as I can. I don't think I'll actually sit down and try proofreading every single thing. Well, I may. I'll try not to make this SUPER long.. but it actually may be a bit long. I have a lot to say since I haven't been writing in my journal.
I've actually taken a quite a bit of time lately evaluating my lifestyle in the present, past, and even the future. The great things that I've accomplished, as well as the mistakes that I have made has in its very own way, shaped me into the person that I am today. Not only has it been of a great help to myself, but I have also been able to help others throughout my experiences. Each has its own story.
One of the things that I have evaluated the most are the relationships with people that I have either let go or maintained. I was lying down thinking about how my life was entering into high school. I had an interesting set of friends that, at the time, I thought we were going to still maintain our friendship for the rest of our lives. But looking at it all, 4 years later: Where have our relationships ended? and.. Why?
I will actually blame myself for the relationships ending. I'm not sorry about it either. Throughout all of the years of my life, I've been somehow taught to distance yourself from people who are, basically, holding you back, who know the things of the Word (and claims themselves to be Christians) but acts as though they aren't (hypocrites basically). But at the same time, show love, and be of help to them. Being only about 13,14 years old, I identified from the beginning that the friends that I had, were going to hold me back if I continued to be of close fellowship with them (hopefully this isn't confusing). I actually spent my freshman year a little bit on the quiet/lone side. I had my basketball friends. But we were more so friends only during basketball season ha. Other than basketball. I spent a large portion by myself. I actually dreaded it for a little bit because, for any 14-year-old girl, its difficult to completely change friendships with people. Hmm... its was a bit harder for me to be honest. I was always quiet.
I believe that I became a little evened out during the end of my freshman year/going into sophomore year. I had bit of people that I called my "friends" but then Junior year came and I definitely realized that about 95% of them weren't really the type of friends that I thought they were. I kind of fiddled w/ it for a little bit. More so distancing one by one instead of a "mass" cut. But its interesting because now that I'm facing the end of my senior year, I'm realizing that I should've cut them off from the very beginning. Why? I knew the horrible character that they had, but those things aren't the main factor, it was more so the fact that they're not willing to change it. (its a bit confusing) I hung w/ them because I felt in some way that I was able to talk to them differently than with others.. I actually convinced myself that they were letting God take control of their lives/issues... but because I "tried" to convince myself of it, I ended up becoming deceived, and falling into the same mess that they were in. hmm...
So the relationships thing.... as I'm about to leave high school.. only 2 of the friends that I currently have.. basically.. have been my friends going into high school (or during my freshman year). And I really think that they are going to be in my life for a really long time. Even if I don't have the opportunity to talk to them often. One of the two "old" friends that I have.. I believe its been close to a year and a half since I've seen her, but we're still going to be friends for a while.
Its actually a pretty interesting experience... but a good one.
-Quayla
I've actually taken a quite a bit of time lately evaluating my lifestyle in the present, past, and even the future. The great things that I've accomplished, as well as the mistakes that I have made has in its very own way, shaped me into the person that I am today. Not only has it been of a great help to myself, but I have also been able to help others throughout my experiences. Each has its own story.
One of the things that I have evaluated the most are the relationships with people that I have either let go or maintained. I was lying down thinking about how my life was entering into high school. I had an interesting set of friends that, at the time, I thought we were going to still maintain our friendship for the rest of our lives. But looking at it all, 4 years later: Where have our relationships ended? and.. Why?
I will actually blame myself for the relationships ending. I'm not sorry about it either. Throughout all of the years of my life, I've been somehow taught to distance yourself from people who are, basically, holding you back, who know the things of the Word (and claims themselves to be Christians) but acts as though they aren't (hypocrites basically). But at the same time, show love, and be of help to them. Being only about 13,14 years old, I identified from the beginning that the friends that I had, were going to hold me back if I continued to be of close fellowship with them (hopefully this isn't confusing). I actually spent my freshman year a little bit on the quiet/lone side. I had my basketball friends. But we were more so friends only during basketball season ha. Other than basketball. I spent a large portion by myself. I actually dreaded it for a little bit because, for any 14-year-old girl, its difficult to completely change friendships with people. Hmm... its was a bit harder for me to be honest. I was always quiet.
I believe that I became a little evened out during the end of my freshman year/going into sophomore year. I had bit of people that I called my "friends" but then Junior year came and I definitely realized that about 95% of them weren't really the type of friends that I thought they were. I kind of fiddled w/ it for a little bit. More so distancing one by one instead of a "mass" cut. But its interesting because now that I'm facing the end of my senior year, I'm realizing that I should've cut them off from the very beginning. Why? I knew the horrible character that they had, but those things aren't the main factor, it was more so the fact that they're not willing to change it. (its a bit confusing) I hung w/ them because I felt in some way that I was able to talk to them differently than with others.. I actually convinced myself that they were letting God take control of their lives/issues... but because I "tried" to convince myself of it, I ended up becoming deceived, and falling into the same mess that they were in. hmm...
So the relationships thing.... as I'm about to leave high school.. only 2 of the friends that I currently have.. basically.. have been my friends going into high school (or during my freshman year). And I really think that they are going to be in my life for a really long time. Even if I don't have the opportunity to talk to them often. One of the two "old" friends that I have.. I believe its been close to a year and a half since I've seen her, but we're still going to be friends for a while.
Its actually a pretty interesting experience... but a good one.
-Quayla
Friday, February 12, 2010
I guess I can start here...
Tuesday pretty much started my two month countdown for my birthday. I think I've always began to accurately countdown for my birthday at the 2-month mark.
I'll be 18 years old. WOW
So here's some of the things that have impacted me over my life; Things I've learned etc:
I'm actually really excited because like most people my age, I am about to start the next stage of my life: Adulthood. I'm very glad that I have the parents that I do. Because not only did they keep me in church for majority of my life, they made sure that I displayed reverence for God. That I developed a relationship with Him. That I was respectful to adults as well as my peers.
My parents were the ones that didn't tolerate foolishness. I remember growing up despising that fact, but after seeing how SO many people that grew up with me are in life, I'm very glad that my parents have enforced the things that they have.
So I think I've accomplished a lot. Not as much as I would've liked to, but I can't say that I didn't have the opportunity to do anything. I've done ballet for 7 years. its been 6 years since I've done it.. haha and it's probably almost like I've never done it lol. But I've actually considered getting back into it. Maybe in college during my free time? I played soccer for one. Then after that, it's been basketball. I've played basketball since I was about 8 years old. I think I can say that my freshman year was my best year. I was my best size for it and I mastered my position-Power Forward. I was the youngest player on the team, and got just about the same amount of playing time as the seniors. I was the only freshman in the league who made "All-Conference" and I also got the MVP award in the Three Point Marketing Tournament. However, I tore my Acl in January of my 8th grade year. Had surgery for it in October, my 10th grade year.. Yeah.. I figured out that I'm a toughie because I played an entire year with a torn ACL. Caused me to tear my medial and lateral menisci really bad. Hmm... Lot of damage. I missed my 10th grade year for basketball... so I sat on the bench watching almost every game because my dad was the coach. That showed that he was dedicated. I played my 11th grade year with a different team and shockingly made All-Conference. Didn't do too great that year in my opinion.. ha I lost probably 25-30 pounds. SO going into basketball season, I weighed 125 lbs probably. That's the smallest that I've ever been since the 6th grade. I managed to get back to 140.
I played AAU for 5 seasons I believe. In March of '09.... I retore my medial meniscus... Got that taken out and didn't play this year. I miss it a lot but its all good.. I can say that I was an pretty good player when I did everything that I was supposed to. I used to want to play in the WNBA... haha then I got 16 years old and realized that is not really something that I want to do with my life. Not playing basketball actually had its pro's.. I starting learning how to carry myself like a young woman.
I was a tomboy from the 4th grade..up until... I guess the middle of my 10th grade year..that's when I started the transition.. I think my biggest transition came in my Junior year... now.. I enjoy wearing dresses from time to time.. I learned how to curl/straighten my hair.. you wouldn't catch me wearing my hair in a ponytail anymore.. (unless I'm in a rush and have to recurl my hair or something).. wear nail polish.. I like the color pink.. I actually have 2 piece bathing suits that I wear w/o shorts.... weird.
Growing up has been interesting. I've made several mistakes.. However, I've been able to learn from every single one of them. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger =)
I'm proud to say that out of the 18 years of my life, I've only been in one relationship. I don't know ANYONE my age that has done that. I've basically been set apart and stood out because of it.
I've never gotten pregnant or had an actual sexual encounter that would lead to pregnancy. I've broken a generational curse by being 18 years old and not pregnant. =)
I've never smoked.. never taken drugs (other than the prescribed mess ha)
I've gotten accepted into great schools, Xavier University, Liberty University, VCU, Miami U, Towson, and Lynchburg College. I like proving people wrong. There have been people who have told me that I was an idiot and dumb... Just because I was homeschooled.. yet I've gotten accepted into competitive schools. =) With scholarships.
I have people looking up to me. So I know that I have to set an example for others and I can't be like everyone else.
I've learned that there are a very few people that don't fall into stereotypical stuff...
I've learned how to choose my friends correctly... yeah I've made some cuts in the past.. gotta get my scissors out again too
I've developed really good friendships. Even though we rarely talk, we'll always be friends.
I kind of prefer to tell someone that I love them through my actions.. but then there are times when I will say them with my words
I'm actually old enough to get married.. doesn't mean that I'm going to get married now.. just means that I'm actually allowed to date..... but my parents are having me take a dating class for 6 weeks.. starting on April 19th. its going to be a bit uncomfortable.. but I'll just get it done and over with.
Made a decision that I'm NOT getting married and moving into an apartment. I better move into a house.. that's all I'm going to say..
I got my license... (happiness) took forever! But the amount of time that it took to get it made me learn how important it is to listen to my parents... they know and have seen a lot more.
Learned that there is more to life than sports..
I have had great people help me realize not just in my mind.. but in my heart.. the true values of being pure and being a girl...wait.. woman.. of purity.
I hang out with people of all ages and races. I enjoy it a lot because I'm able to relate to just about anyone!
I adopted a big brother..
I've learned how to have a relationship with God for myself.
Events: (crazy and sane) that have happened/heard about throughout my lifetime:
First black president (exciting...he's a bit crazy but we still need to pray for him). The whole election was CRAZY.. goodness.. because there were both "racial" and "religious" issues all up in it. A lot of black people who were born after 1980 were acting as though they experienced segregation back in the 60's. Then a lot of people claimed that just because someone decided to vote for Obama that they weren't Christians, etc.. ha I think I wrote a Note about it on FB..
NY Giants won the super bowl.. AFTER I predicted it.. well more like exactly like I predicted it.. haha (I didn't predict it just cuz I was a fan lol)
Michael Jackson died (sadness.. but I never realized how GREAT of a musician he was until AFTER he died.. =/)
Rosa Parks died
Coretta Scott King died
James Brown died =(
The Twin Towers collapsed. Sept. 11, 2001 That had to have been a BIG event for the United States
Tsunami in Thailand.. oh em gee...
Haiti...
Princess Diana... =/
Will Smith came into the picture =)
Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake at the super bowl=hot mess.. even though I never watch the half-time shows, its kind of interesting/funny how the sports committee get performers that none of us have EVER heard of lol
Brittany Spears cut off ALL her hair!
Chris Crocker lol
Derrick Rose=straight awesomeness..
but Lebron James=best basketball player alive...
ahh that Detroit/Indiana Brawl
The Doritoes Commercial w/ the little black boy
Volkswagon Commercial w/ Stevie Wonder.. so ironic
Brett Favre went in and out of retirement idk how many times..
Michael Jordan came out of retirement for a year.. did..ok...
Allen Iverson went in and out of retirement.. after about 24 hours lol
Channing TTAAATTTUUUMMMM!!!!
MY NEAR FUTURE:
College: Going to Liberty University.. hopefully for the full term.. if I don't like it, then I'll transfer to UR or VCU
Major: Journalism
Minor: Kinesiology
but not limited to
Career: Sports Journalism..
AFTER THAT
Getting married and moving someplace warm lol
So not.. going to home school my kids
however, my kids are going to be smart =)
will be able to play a few instruments... yeah.. musically inclined..
I'll be 18 years old. WOW
So here's some of the things that have impacted me over my life; Things I've learned etc:
I'm actually really excited because like most people my age, I am about to start the next stage of my life: Adulthood. I'm very glad that I have the parents that I do. Because not only did they keep me in church for majority of my life, they made sure that I displayed reverence for God. That I developed a relationship with Him. That I was respectful to adults as well as my peers.
My parents were the ones that didn't tolerate foolishness. I remember growing up despising that fact, but after seeing how SO many people that grew up with me are in life, I'm very glad that my parents have enforced the things that they have.
So I think I've accomplished a lot. Not as much as I would've liked to, but I can't say that I didn't have the opportunity to do anything. I've done ballet for 7 years. its been 6 years since I've done it.. haha and it's probably almost like I've never done it lol. But I've actually considered getting back into it. Maybe in college during my free time? I played soccer for one. Then after that, it's been basketball. I've played basketball since I was about 8 years old. I think I can say that my freshman year was my best year. I was my best size for it and I mastered my position-Power Forward. I was the youngest player on the team, and got just about the same amount of playing time as the seniors. I was the only freshman in the league who made "All-Conference" and I also got the MVP award in the Three Point Marketing Tournament. However, I tore my Acl in January of my 8th grade year. Had surgery for it in October, my 10th grade year.. Yeah.. I figured out that I'm a toughie because I played an entire year with a torn ACL. Caused me to tear my medial and lateral menisci really bad. Hmm... Lot of damage. I missed my 10th grade year for basketball... so I sat on the bench watching almost every game because my dad was the coach. That showed that he was dedicated. I played my 11th grade year with a different team and shockingly made All-Conference. Didn't do too great that year in my opinion.. ha I lost probably 25-30 pounds. SO going into basketball season, I weighed 125 lbs probably. That's the smallest that I've ever been since the 6th grade. I managed to get back to 140.
I played AAU for 5 seasons I believe. In March of '09.... I retore my medial meniscus... Got that taken out and didn't play this year. I miss it a lot but its all good.. I can say that I was an pretty good player when I did everything that I was supposed to. I used to want to play in the WNBA... haha then I got 16 years old and realized that is not really something that I want to do with my life. Not playing basketball actually had its pro's.. I starting learning how to carry myself like a young woman.
I was a tomboy from the 4th grade..up until... I guess the middle of my 10th grade year..that's when I started the transition.. I think my biggest transition came in my Junior year... now.. I enjoy wearing dresses from time to time.. I learned how to curl/straighten my hair.. you wouldn't catch me wearing my hair in a ponytail anymore.. (unless I'm in a rush and have to recurl my hair or something).. wear nail polish.. I like the color pink.. I actually have 2 piece bathing suits that I wear w/o shorts.... weird.
Growing up has been interesting. I've made several mistakes.. However, I've been able to learn from every single one of them. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger =)
I'm proud to say that out of the 18 years of my life, I've only been in one relationship. I don't know ANYONE my age that has done that. I've basically been set apart and stood out because of it.
I've never gotten pregnant or had an actual sexual encounter that would lead to pregnancy. I've broken a generational curse by being 18 years old and not pregnant. =)
I've never smoked.. never taken drugs (other than the prescribed mess ha)
I've gotten accepted into great schools, Xavier University, Liberty University, VCU, Miami U, Towson, and Lynchburg College. I like proving people wrong. There have been people who have told me that I was an idiot and dumb... Just because I was homeschooled.. yet I've gotten accepted into competitive schools. =) With scholarships.
I have people looking up to me. So I know that I have to set an example for others and I can't be like everyone else.
I've learned that there are a very few people that don't fall into stereotypical stuff...
I've learned how to choose my friends correctly... yeah I've made some cuts in the past.. gotta get my scissors out again too
I've developed really good friendships. Even though we rarely talk, we'll always be friends.
I kind of prefer to tell someone that I love them through my actions.. but then there are times when I will say them with my words
I'm actually old enough to get married.. doesn't mean that I'm going to get married now.. just means that I'm actually allowed to date..... but my parents are having me take a dating class for 6 weeks.. starting on April 19th. its going to be a bit uncomfortable.. but I'll just get it done and over with.
Made a decision that I'm NOT getting married and moving into an apartment. I better move into a house.. that's all I'm going to say..
I got my license... (happiness) took forever! But the amount of time that it took to get it made me learn how important it is to listen to my parents... they know and have seen a lot more.
Learned that there is more to life than sports..
I have had great people help me realize not just in my mind.. but in my heart.. the true values of being pure and being a girl...wait.. woman.. of purity.
I hang out with people of all ages and races. I enjoy it a lot because I'm able to relate to just about anyone!
I adopted a big brother..
I've learned how to have a relationship with God for myself.
Events: (crazy and sane) that have happened/heard about throughout my lifetime:
First black president (exciting...he's a bit crazy but we still need to pray for him). The whole election was CRAZY.. goodness.. because there were both "racial" and "religious" issues all up in it. A lot of black people who were born after 1980 were acting as though they experienced segregation back in the 60's. Then a lot of people claimed that just because someone decided to vote for Obama that they weren't Christians, etc.. ha I think I wrote a Note about it on FB..
NY Giants won the super bowl.. AFTER I predicted it.. well more like exactly like I predicted it.. haha (I didn't predict it just cuz I was a fan lol)
Michael Jackson died (sadness.. but I never realized how GREAT of a musician he was until AFTER he died.. =/)
Rosa Parks died
Coretta Scott King died
James Brown died =(
The Twin Towers collapsed. Sept. 11, 2001 That had to have been a BIG event for the United States
Tsunami in Thailand.. oh em gee...
Haiti...
Princess Diana... =/
Will Smith came into the picture =)
Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake at the super bowl=hot mess.. even though I never watch the half-time shows, its kind of interesting/funny how the sports committee get performers that none of us have EVER heard of lol
Brittany Spears cut off ALL her hair!
Chris Crocker lol
Derrick Rose=straight awesomeness..
but Lebron James=best basketball player alive...
ahh that Detroit/Indiana Brawl
The Doritoes Commercial w/ the little black boy
Volkswagon Commercial w/ Stevie Wonder.. so ironic
Brett Favre went in and out of retirement idk how many times..
Michael Jordan came out of retirement for a year.. did..ok...
Allen Iverson went in and out of retirement.. after about 24 hours lol
Channing TTAAATTTUUUMMMM!!!!
MY NEAR FUTURE:
College: Going to Liberty University.. hopefully for the full term.. if I don't like it, then I'll transfer to UR or VCU
Major: Journalism
Minor: Kinesiology
but not limited to
Career: Sports Journalism..
AFTER THAT
Getting married and moving someplace warm lol
So not.. going to home school my kids
however, my kids are going to be smart =)
will be able to play a few instruments... yeah.. musically inclined..
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