Next year

So I'm kind of in the mood to write an "update" blog today.

I'm somewhat ready for the school year to be over.  I think I just want it to be next year.   But this summer is definitely going to be a year of growth as a person... as a leader... as a Christian.  It's always important to grow... but I do feel as though for me, this summer will be the most beneficial.

My goals:

Read... read read read....
I did pretty good last summer by reading 3 books.  If I can do a book every two weeks this summer, that would be pretty amazing.  So far, here is what is on my list (books for pleasure, and for growth, assigned).

• Blood Covenant by Michael Franzese
• The Way of the Shepherd by Kevin Leman
• Called to Lead by John MacArthur
• Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman
• The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

I know that I can definitely get those books completed.  And I'm sure there will be more books that I will be assigned to read from OSL.  I'll check.  I'm definitely going do a summer reading plan.  For some reason lately, I've been more drawn to reading through the Old Testament.  I have been pinpointing the leadership styles in the Old Testament over the course of the year.  So far, it has shown and helped me in my personal leadership style-> with the things that I could improve on and knowing about the things that I shouldn't do.  I know that I can do it.  So I will create a personal plan from the end of the school year up until August 2.  That's 3 months.. I can definitely accomplish that.

I'm hoping that I'll be able to work this summer.  My dad is probably going to get me something to do for his business. If not, then hopefully I will have a place to work.  But if I can end the summer with about $1,500 (or something over $1,000).  That would be really good.  I'll have a little cushion for coming into the school year to get my books, etc.  Put some money towards my camera and other things for my hall.  Fun stuff =)

I went to RA training today.  I'm actually looking forward to being able to listen to Danny Lamonte over the course of the next year.  In just an hour and a half, I have learned a lot.  I definitely gained a new perspective on what it takes to be an RA.  I do know that today was only just a small percentage of learning.  There will be 8 days worth of RA training when I come back in August.  

But one thing that I was really reminded about today was how we have to take ownership of our hall. It's our ministry.  I think that when we take ownership of something in that nature, we are able to have an emotional connection.  Which I feel is why I really had to learn how to emphasize over the course of this year.  For the girls on my hall... they're going to be mine... If they hurt, I need to hurt.. if they're struggling, I struggle... if they're happy, I'm happy.  I think I'm definitely going to be focusing on that the most next year.  In Romans 12, it talks about where we need to emphasize.. and I want to continue on with that. It will definitely be a way that I can connect and be used as a vessel to minister to them.  

I wouldn't say that I'm scared about being an RA next year, but I must admit that there is a form of uncertainty. Like, sometimes I want to premediate and prepare for the challenges that I'm going to face. I know coming into this school year, I never knew that I would have aced the challenges that I've faced.  But honestly, I have to say that those challenges have better prepared me for this position. I think also, what I'm trying to figure out is balance. Will I burn out?  I sit around making sure that I'm planning my class schedules in the right way so that I'll be able to handle everything.  Making sure that I won't be stupid.  I will need to have a detailed schedule.  I'm sure that I'll have room for flexibility, but I do know that there will be time that I won't have to be flexible. I will need to definitely pinpoint the areas in my life that I will need to sacrifice next year.  It's going to be pressure, but then at the same time, I'm confident in knowing that God is going to use me for something great.  Which makes me excited!  

I think that being in a new position always excites me! I'm definitely looking forward to the awesome things that God is going to do!

-Quayla

Forgiveness.... and then controversy...

I really feel as though this has been an eye opening school year for me. Both on the spiritual and natural standpoint.  It is really something at how much God works in my life and the lives a those around me. I do really thank Him every day for the things that He is doing in my life and those around me.

But I have had the time to really realize exactly how objective I am. Then at the same time of how important being objective really is.  I strongly believe that it is a great attribute as a Christian to be objective (not saying that I'm this great person because I am), especially because we have flaws.

This post may be a bit long...

But first of all, I've come to learn of how it feels to genuinely live a life of forgiveness.. and how quickly it can happen when you trust God through it all.  This year, I have definitely dealt with things that by "man's" standard,  I have every right to not forgive. Like, it took me about a day to gather myself, but I was able to first and foremost, keep the discussion to a minimum and move on.  I mean, I do have to take caution, but at the same time, I have been able to get past that.  The thing about it, is that I become excited about the advancements that this individual makes/achieves.  Which is awesome because there are times when people can just look at people in spite because of their promotions, or decisions, or things that God is doing in their life.

I really had to learn how to forgive myself to.  I didn't really grasp that aspect until last semester. It was something that I personally fought for years, which in turn has set me back so far.  It has definitely been a change after I learned how to do that.  I just really felt like sharing that.  The power of forgiveness is really amazing.

And now for the biggest part of my blog.....


This is definitely something that could potentially be a controversial topic.  But I've been thinking a lot about it lately and I really wanted to have it written down somewhere..

But the thing that hit me a lot lately were the fights against homosexuality and abortion. No way by any means am I a supporter of the two. However, I feel as though the message that we give by putting up a fight against these issues are fairly hypocritical.  Christians tend to say that there is no level of sin. That all sin is an automatic sentence to Hell, but by the grace of God, we can be saved.  But regardless, as flawed human beings, we still have sin that we deal with every day.

Proverbs 6:16-19 says "these six things the Lord hates. Yes, seven are an abomination to Him. A proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren."


What I want to pinpoint is the fact that we have no right, absolutely NO right, to put a fight against these issues.  When we do this, it is as though we are justifying our own sin because it is not as "bad" as killing an unborn baby or being attracted to someone of the same sex.  I feel as though if there is a fight for this, there should be just as much of a fight for laws against lying, against spreading rumors, against causing strife among others, against even "thinking" about doing something bad to someone.  All those times when people are saying, "Gosh I just want to hit her/him" is JUST as bad as if someone were to perform abortion.  I mean, God doesn't decide to banish us or treat us bad for these things, so why should we do that to others?

We just put these levels to sins and it's not right at all. We have the nerve to even think that it's okay.  It's definitely a big part of the reason why people put themselves away from Christianity because we tend to justify our own sin and say that the world is messed up. WE ALL ARE MESSED UP. But that is why Christ died for us. So we can just give Him our mess no matter what it is. I think that if we all fully understood that concept and gave the impression that without Him, we are all flawed individuals, no one would be hesitant to have the desire to understand what it really is like to live in His will.

Like, I don't believe that we should stand in the back burner and not speaking up about what we believe. However, I do believe that it is important to establish the fact that because I am a flawed individual, I deserve every bit to go to Hell, no more or no less than the person right next to me.

We are more equal than you think. We all deserve to go to Hell. We deserve nothing BUT Hell. But by the GRACE of God, we ALL have the opportunity to experience His kingdom, His glory, His power.  Regardless of what we have done, or said, or thought.

That is pretty much what I wanted to share.  Of course it may be a controversial thing, but hey, it is what it is. =)

-Quayla