Well I am entering my second week of my senior year and the only thing that I find myself thinking about is simply "what do I do next?". Time is ticking. If I decide to go to grad school somewhere other than Liberty, I have 3 months to have taken my GMAT and apply for the program. This is to ensure that I receive Financial aid. To be honest, I do not want to accumulate many loans in addition to my undergrad. My plans for the longest time were to attend VCU's MBA program, but that would be about 10k and year. So taking into consideration of that, I would be adding on 20k worth of loans. As I'm thinking about it, I find it pointless because throughout my four years of undergrad, I will only be accumulating 25, 30k. For four years. So pulling out 20k for two, just seems to not be the wisest decision.
As I'm going through the month that I have been back at Liberty, I feel as though it is the wisest decision for me to simply stay in Lynchburg to pursue my Master's in Communications. It's crazy through it all, but I do apparently have more opportunities here than if I were to go elsewhere. I could still remain an RA and I could possibly do GSA at the same time. The Communications department at Liberty is revamping so much that it would be kind of crazy to not take the opportunity.
But then there are those moments when I feel as though my time here is just about up.
Then the other options are to just simply get rid of the Graduate School option and head on out into the work force. I mean, being that I am graduating with a degree in Public Relations and Broadcasting, I really do not think that there would be any challenges in finding a job. Primarily in the PR field. Then my dad has stroked out the idea that he would like for me to work for him.
There are so many options that I have right now that I don't even know what to take. It's crazy because, if you know me at all, you know how much of a planner I am. You'll know that not knowing the path to my future is concerning to me.
It challenges me to trust God even more. As an 18 year old freshman coming to Liberty, I really expected my life to be all panned out in a certain way. I expected to know exactly what I was supposed to do.
Being a senior and not knowing what I'm going to do next freaks me out more than anything. Because I never thought that at 21, I wouldn't know what path to take.
The craziest thing though, is somehow, through all the uncertainty, I have a feeling of peace. God's timing is perfect and I know that He hasn't left me wandering alone throughout all these years. He has a sense of humor too. Throughout RA training this semester, we sang this song, by Hillsong "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)". I never heard it before, but the bridge of the song spoke to me more than ever. I really couldn't find the song at the time, nor knew the title of it. Then after we sang it, I would simply forget the lyrics. Then for the next few weeks I just forgot about the song altogether. Then I heard it again over the weekend and was like "I need to find that song" but I got so tired and again, I forgot.
Then today, a girl on my hall posted the song lyrics on her fb status. Then I finally googled the lyrics and found it. Then Ironically, we had worship for RA group and actually sang this song. I literally almost hit tears. Because it was something that I really need to here, especially in the time of my life where I simply do not know where to go.
"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
and my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior"
That song humbles me. More than anything. It reminds me how much I need to cling to the Lord and allow Him to just lead me in the direction that I need to go. I am reminded that He has never left me.
I never really thought the direction of this post would've gone the way it did. Sometimes, I just write and my hands to go along with whatever. =)
-Quayla
