Next year

So I'm kind of in the mood to write an "update" blog today.

I'm somewhat ready for the school year to be over.  I think I just want it to be next year.   But this summer is definitely going to be a year of growth as a person... as a leader... as a Christian.  It's always important to grow... but I do feel as though for me, this summer will be the most beneficial.

My goals:

Read... read read read....
I did pretty good last summer by reading 3 books.  If I can do a book every two weeks this summer, that would be pretty amazing.  So far, here is what is on my list (books for pleasure, and for growth, assigned).

• Blood Covenant by Michael Franzese
• The Way of the Shepherd by Kevin Leman
• Called to Lead by John MacArthur
• Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman
• The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

I know that I can definitely get those books completed.  And I'm sure there will be more books that I will be assigned to read from OSL.  I'll check.  I'm definitely going do a summer reading plan.  For some reason lately, I've been more drawn to reading through the Old Testament.  I have been pinpointing the leadership styles in the Old Testament over the course of the year.  So far, it has shown and helped me in my personal leadership style-> with the things that I could improve on and knowing about the things that I shouldn't do.  I know that I can do it.  So I will create a personal plan from the end of the school year up until August 2.  That's 3 months.. I can definitely accomplish that.

I'm hoping that I'll be able to work this summer.  My dad is probably going to get me something to do for his business. If not, then hopefully I will have a place to work.  But if I can end the summer with about $1,500 (or something over $1,000).  That would be really good.  I'll have a little cushion for coming into the school year to get my books, etc.  Put some money towards my camera and other things for my hall.  Fun stuff =)

I went to RA training today.  I'm actually looking forward to being able to listen to Danny Lamonte over the course of the next year.  In just an hour and a half, I have learned a lot.  I definitely gained a new perspective on what it takes to be an RA.  I do know that today was only just a small percentage of learning.  There will be 8 days worth of RA training when I come back in August.  

But one thing that I was really reminded about today was how we have to take ownership of our hall. It's our ministry.  I think that when we take ownership of something in that nature, we are able to have an emotional connection.  Which I feel is why I really had to learn how to emphasize over the course of this year.  For the girls on my hall... they're going to be mine... If they hurt, I need to hurt.. if they're struggling, I struggle... if they're happy, I'm happy.  I think I'm definitely going to be focusing on that the most next year.  In Romans 12, it talks about where we need to emphasize.. and I want to continue on with that. It will definitely be a way that I can connect and be used as a vessel to minister to them.  

I wouldn't say that I'm scared about being an RA next year, but I must admit that there is a form of uncertainty. Like, sometimes I want to premediate and prepare for the challenges that I'm going to face. I know coming into this school year, I never knew that I would have aced the challenges that I've faced.  But honestly, I have to say that those challenges have better prepared me for this position. I think also, what I'm trying to figure out is balance. Will I burn out?  I sit around making sure that I'm planning my class schedules in the right way so that I'll be able to handle everything.  Making sure that I won't be stupid.  I will need to have a detailed schedule.  I'm sure that I'll have room for flexibility, but I do know that there will be time that I won't have to be flexible. I will need to definitely pinpoint the areas in my life that I will need to sacrifice next year.  It's going to be pressure, but then at the same time, I'm confident in knowing that God is going to use me for something great.  Which makes me excited!  

I think that being in a new position always excites me! I'm definitely looking forward to the awesome things that God is going to do!

-Quayla

Forgiveness.... and then controversy...

I really feel as though this has been an eye opening school year for me. Both on the spiritual and natural standpoint.  It is really something at how much God works in my life and the lives a those around me. I do really thank Him every day for the things that He is doing in my life and those around me.

But I have had the time to really realize exactly how objective I am. Then at the same time of how important being objective really is.  I strongly believe that it is a great attribute as a Christian to be objective (not saying that I'm this great person because I am), especially because we have flaws.

This post may be a bit long...

But first of all, I've come to learn of how it feels to genuinely live a life of forgiveness.. and how quickly it can happen when you trust God through it all.  This year, I have definitely dealt with things that by "man's" standard,  I have every right to not forgive. Like, it took me about a day to gather myself, but I was able to first and foremost, keep the discussion to a minimum and move on.  I mean, I do have to take caution, but at the same time, I have been able to get past that.  The thing about it, is that I become excited about the advancements that this individual makes/achieves.  Which is awesome because there are times when people can just look at people in spite because of their promotions, or decisions, or things that God is doing in their life.

I really had to learn how to forgive myself to.  I didn't really grasp that aspect until last semester. It was something that I personally fought for years, which in turn has set me back so far.  It has definitely been a change after I learned how to do that.  I just really felt like sharing that.  The power of forgiveness is really amazing.

And now for the biggest part of my blog.....


This is definitely something that could potentially be a controversial topic.  But I've been thinking a lot about it lately and I really wanted to have it written down somewhere..

But the thing that hit me a lot lately were the fights against homosexuality and abortion. No way by any means am I a supporter of the two. However, I feel as though the message that we give by putting up a fight against these issues are fairly hypocritical.  Christians tend to say that there is no level of sin. That all sin is an automatic sentence to Hell, but by the grace of God, we can be saved.  But regardless, as flawed human beings, we still have sin that we deal with every day.

Proverbs 6:16-19 says "these six things the Lord hates. Yes, seven are an abomination to Him. A proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren."


What I want to pinpoint is the fact that we have no right, absolutely NO right, to put a fight against these issues.  When we do this, it is as though we are justifying our own sin because it is not as "bad" as killing an unborn baby or being attracted to someone of the same sex.  I feel as though if there is a fight for this, there should be just as much of a fight for laws against lying, against spreading rumors, against causing strife among others, against even "thinking" about doing something bad to someone.  All those times when people are saying, "Gosh I just want to hit her/him" is JUST as bad as if someone were to perform abortion.  I mean, God doesn't decide to banish us or treat us bad for these things, so why should we do that to others?

We just put these levels to sins and it's not right at all. We have the nerve to even think that it's okay.  It's definitely a big part of the reason why people put themselves away from Christianity because we tend to justify our own sin and say that the world is messed up. WE ALL ARE MESSED UP. But that is why Christ died for us. So we can just give Him our mess no matter what it is. I think that if we all fully understood that concept and gave the impression that without Him, we are all flawed individuals, no one would be hesitant to have the desire to understand what it really is like to live in His will.

Like, I don't believe that we should stand in the back burner and not speaking up about what we believe. However, I do believe that it is important to establish the fact that because I am a flawed individual, I deserve every bit to go to Hell, no more or no less than the person right next to me.

We are more equal than you think. We all deserve to go to Hell. We deserve nothing BUT Hell. But by the GRACE of God, we ALL have the opportunity to experience His kingdom, His glory, His power.  Regardless of what we have done, or said, or thought.

That is pretty much what I wanted to share.  Of course it may be a controversial thing, but hey, it is what it is. =)

-Quayla

Objectivity... bias.... O___o... LOVE

So.. I had a mentally stimulating topic with my quadmate, Britney.  You really don't think about how you would react to certain things. There are a few that I want to I guess write about...

One of the questions was... say that there is a child that is in an orphanage, and a homosexual couple wanted to adopt him (or her).  Would you let the couple adopt the child, or would you let the child grow up as an orphan... basically with the feeling of rejection for their whole entire life?

I have NEVER taken into consideration of something like that.  Because both sides has negativity to it.  The thing that I ultimately think about is how there is no limitations to where God can move... but how would you respond in that situation... would you want a child to grow up alone?  That's a hard thing to grasp.

It's an objective thing for me.  I guess for one, I have learned how to be objective, especially as a Communication major.  Some people may disagree with me. I do have my beliefs. I have my stance about homosexuality... but at the same time.... I need to have that SAME stance about lying...  About talking badly about someone.. about being disrespectful.  I mean, homosexuality can lead to a greater physical consequence.. but spiritually, it's held the same why.  So I have NO right to justify my sin.. and not anyone else's.  Either way, my sin is going to affect others.. just as much as their sin affects others.

The next question was related to abortion.  
Of course, we have a stance that of course abortion is wrong.  Life begins at conception.  So we honestly have NO right to take away the opportunity for someone to have life.  But at the same time... I have NO idea of the kind of things that a girl as to emotionally deal with when it comes to abortion. That's a common argument that people that justify abortion make.  Which is a true statement in  a way Like... if I were personally put into that situation.. I cannot say for any girl.. whether they are COMPLETELY against abortion or not... that would not even have abortion come across their mind at least a little. I cannot imagine myself in that situation.. which is part of the reason as to why the sanctity of sex in marriage is valuable to me. Especially as a student in high school.. especially as someone who grew up in a surrounding where people who became pregnant were suddenly looked down upon. Can you really say that you wouldn't even think about it? Then another.. if they were sexual abused.  They obviously will have a different perception of it.  Something that they didn't have any control over.  Although the chances of that is very small.. it is still possible.  I can't put myself in that situation... but you cannot say that the thought may occur. Makes me REALLY reflect on the importance of saving sex for marriage.I have to make sure that I'm not put into those compromising situations. Because things like that are possible.. It just really makes you think a lot deeper.  Which is why empathy is an important trait to have as a believer in Christ (Romans 12:14-15).

I kind of wanted to touch on those two things.. because... It made me reflect on HOW important embracing God's love really is.. and at the same time how hard it is.  Sadly enough, there are a lot of people that will consider things like abortion because of people they feel would look down on them. I can honestly say that what I know.. is if I was in a situation like that.. I've already established that I'd probably not leave my house.  If it came to that.. because I know that with the character that I do have.. it's like.. a blow.. I mean.. we do have to pay the consequences for our actions.. but our consequence should NOT be rejection from the body of Christ. I really think that if we all loved like we were supposed to.. the fight for abortions would not be nearly as strong as it is now.

Even with homosexuality.. A lot of times, they too feel rejected.. which is why they consider Christians to be homophobes (which in some cases, there are).  I personally had to learn that.  But I did.. and it wasn't easy. I don't really know whether or not I have friends that are that way. But I do know I have relatives. (which is a main reason why I had to dig deep into it)  I destroy my testimony and progress with reaching out to them if I blatantly talk about how homosexuality is wrong. Whether through fb statuses, etc.  The same really can apply to any other type of sin... but we have to also take note that we ARE FLAWED.  We cannot make exceptions for any sin.. but at the same time.. we have to address them in love.

-Quayla

Chiseling... Qualifying... NEXT YEAR

This is my first blog in a while. I am really slacking and its definitely not a good thing.  I used to write all the time.

Hahaha well anyways, the past few weeks (well, month actually) has been one of those defining moments for me. For one, I officially am majoring in Broadcasting and Public Relations.  With a minor in Psychology.  I never thought that I would actually minor in Psychology. It never really crossed my mind that much for me to want to declare it.  But during RA qualifying weekend, we had to do a counseling session and that really hit home for me.  I loved doing it, but at the same time, I want to learn how to better counsel.. to better understand that way people think.  Especially teenagers and young adults.

I'm still in the process of waiting for God to tell me exactly what He wants me to do with my career. But I feel as though these little adjustments that I've been making as far as my major and campus involvement goes are allowing me to get closer to finding out.

But again, God has really been chiseling off hindrances in my life. Whether its with the things I say, or things that I needed to learn how to deal with.  I've especially been convicted heavily on the things that I say.  I am definitely hasty with my words.. or when something bothers me, I tend to go on and on about it.   But in my devotionals, I've been basically reflecting on wisdom. And learned how FOOLISH it is to keep going on with my words. It will definitely bring a lot of trouble my way.

But God is definitely shaping me to become a leader.

I was selected to become an RA for the next school year.  It is absolutely phenomenal! It is also great because at the beginning of the school year, I wasn't sure if I was quite ready to actually take on the role of having the spiritual responsibility of 50+ girls on a hall.   I still have a lot of learning to do, but now, I feel confident that it is the time and place for me to start.  It's going to be a growing process, but I'm excited for it!  Over the next few days, I'll be meeting with possible RA partners and next Friday, I'll get my placement for the next year and then the formatting of the leadership team will begin.  I'm REALLY excited about what God is going to do over the course of the next few months as well as the next school year.

But that is basically my mini update on what has been going on!

-Quayla

RA Hosting Week

Wow. This is the first blog that I have written in a while.  So much has been going on. But it actually has been amazing! I had the opportunity to pass first cuts for RA.  Going through the past week for the second round has been quite an experience! For one thing, I have to say that I wish it was a required thing for everyone in leadership to do. I say this because I have definitely learned a lot about myself just in one week. I also have been able to tap into better understanding what God wants me to do with my life.  But then on the spiritual standpoint, I have been able to see my strengths and weaknesses.  I've learned a new level of humility.  I have been able to see more clearly the areas in my life that I need to grow in.  I'm not sure if I'm going to make RA or not, I really hope I do, and I'm confident that I will... but if I don't, I won't feel like I wasted any time.  I enjoyed this experience, learned SO much.  I will never take it back.

One thing that I really learned this week is how far I've come.  Sometimes you won't realize it until you're given the opportunity to share.  Last night, my host RAs asked us to share our story/testimony. I have shared my testimony with my Prayer Group last semester, but for some reason, sharing my testimony with another leader was different.  I haven't had the chance to share with my RAs fully yet, which I know will come, but for me, it was the first time that I shared my story with a leader.  I kind of set a goal for myself this year to be transparent.  So for me to be comfortable enough to share my story, it was actually amazing.  I have grown to the point where I've learned how to forgive, learned how to trust God, learned how to grow.


But I did get a chance to do cleanliness checks, convo checks, curfew checks, fire drills.  Haha I like it a lot.I would really enjoy the responsibility.

Definitely met some awesome people in the process.. Been a GREAT experience.  =)

-Quayla

Just a ramble

I feel as though I'm going to be up all night tonight. Pretty much because: 1. I haven't fully finished packing. I have to wash and dry the remainder of my clothes. My mom put a comforter in the wash... so that's going to take quite a while.  2. I have to actually finish cleaning.  haha at least I got my bathroom clean, but my room... not so much.  I know this time around I have to actually have my room entirely clean because my aunt is coming down for a couple of days and I guess somebody will be staying in my room.

By the time I get all of that done, it'll be time for me to get up and get ready for church.  So I assume that I will have to enjoy a cup of coffee when I get to church.

I cannot believe that school will be starting in a couple of days... well.. actually a day.  I already have a lot of busy work to do when I get there.. like buying and exchanging books... studying for the SLD test.. an SLD interview.. talking with my RAs about me taking the SLD position and then possibly seeing where that goes.

My goal for the semester is to finish with a 4.0. It's highly possible.. but I do want to bring my gpa up just a tad.  I have a 3.75 now I believe.  It's not bad.. but I would love to receive suma cum laude when I graduate. So I will need a 3.85 to get that.  Which means I will have to have a couple of 4.0 semesters. Then no less than  3.5 in a few others. So far the lowest grade that I've gotten was 3.6, so if I just keep that as my low, and get a few more high gpa semesters, I should be good to go.  I believe that it could happen, I just definitely have to keep focused, organize my time better.  Minimize my leisure time on the internet, and it could happen.  I'm actually glad that I only have one class on Tuesday and Thursdays. So I have literally all day to study and do work.  Especially when it'll be a time that no one will be in the quad.  I also will have more than enough time to get a regular exercise routine going.  I am very much out of shape it is ridiculous.  I have to get overall body tone and I cannot allow it to get out of control.  I know that I can do it, I just have to put it into my schedule like it's a class.  And definitely work hard.

I have to actually complete my goal list for the year of 2012.. I have part of my list at school from last year, so I have to look at it and see what I've completed, and what I haven't.  Then I need to examine which ones are better to attain, spend some time making a template... then keeping them in my notebook somewhere.  I was kind of hoping that I would have more time to get it done tomorrow, but I know for a fact that I'm not going to get to school at a decent time. Well, maybe hopefully I can get to school by 5:30.. If I do, than I can possibly have some time to do so.

One thing that I want to do this semester is to get a job. I think either Monday or Tuesday, I'll go to the mall and put in some applications. Hopefully it'll work out that way. I have no preferences as to where I work.  My parents are at the point where they're like "your job is only school". However, I really feel as though I should start working towards doing something for myself, especially when it comes to wanting to do something that requires money, I want to be able to just get what I need to get right then and there without having to wait for it, or ask for the money. I don't think that's a bad desire to have.

But all in all.. that's what's going on in my head.. haha I actually think I can go to bed now...

-Quayla

Joseph-That Leader

I've been thinking a lot about leadership lately.  Of course you hear from time to time that "so and so" is a GREAT leader.  But it actually made me want to look just a tad further as to what distinguishes a good leader... from a GREAT leader...

That's where the question "Where do I fit in?" comes.  I never really understood the fact as to why people said that I had the capabilities of being a leader. I felt as though it was strange, being the fact that I don't "force" my way into the perceived leadership position. Yes, I tend to be very competitive, but I somehow step aside and let someone else take that know "leadership" role in a group. Although I enjoy being the "go-to" person, I actually tend to sit back.  I'm not the "everything needs to be my way or else" kind of person....

But I'm not a "I'll let them handle it until they get lost or chaos comes" kind of leader either.

I've even taken classes where we discussed the types of leaders in groups, and I didn't fall into ANY of them... or at least I struggle with figuring it out.  So hearing the words "Quayla, you're a leader" really makes me wonder....

But then I started to reflect and think this....  "What attributes of a leader should I have? if I am, in fact going to be a leader? Or am one?"  

But for some reason... God bought me to Joseph.  I've read about him A LOT growing up.  Of course, there is always something more revelation to receive about the Word of God in every passage.  You can never FULLY receive a revelation in any portion.

Some of the things that were pointed out to me about Joseph's leadership were actually like "oh duh!" moments... but then there were a few that was like.. "wow.. I didn't know that!"  It was definitely insightful.

Joseph Mastered The Little Things...

Joseph was a slave... what can be more low than being a slave? He made the best of it, mastered that position and was promoted to being Potipher's personal servant... Then he went on to master in that position as well... But then he ended up in prison (Which I will discuss in a bit)... However, When Joseph was placed in prison, the warden apparently liked him so much that he placed him in charge of a certain amount of prisioners....

That's definitely something that leaders should take into consideration... The things that really don't seem like a big deal to us, may actually be a BIG deal in the long run..  

Joseph Did Not Give Into Sexual Temptation

Potipher's wife attempted to seduce Joseph. Which led to him being placed in prison basically.  Now, for the average man... actually.. for any man.. that is NOT and easy thing to deal with. I can't really say how Potipher's wife looked in appearance, but let's just assume that she was pretty. Joseph to taking the initiative to run away from the temptation was a BIG deal. 

Leaders cannot give into those temptations.. it is definitely a hard in our generation to resist it. Especially when everything in media, music, friends, etc. are making it appear acceptable. But it is important to take a stand against those temptations and run away from it

Joseph Respected His Leaders

That's definitely one that we don't think about often...  Joseph respected Potipher enough to not sleep with his wife... 

Joseph Was Concerned With the Way God Viewed Him.

 Joseph fled from temptation because he was concerned about him sinning against God (Genesis 39:9).  Although he did express his respect for Potipher, he was more concerned with the evil act. 

Joseph Was Patient

He spent about 13 years in slavery... He probably didn't know what God's plan for him was from the beginning, but he allowed God to work and move on his behalf...

Joseph Gave All Credit to God For His Gift

Joseph was able to interpret dreams! I mean, we've all heard of those crazy people that try to tell you what your dreams mean.. When majority of those people are just trying to get money out of it. ABSOLUTELY gives NO credit to God.. 

Joseph was God-inspired, which is why he had the gift to interpret dreams. It's only right to give Him credit for it.

Joseph Encouraged Others to Lead-He was Humble

Joseph didn't jump into the leadership role after he explained Pharaoh's dream.  He immediately told Pharaoh that he had to find someone that fit the qualifications to lead Egypt through the famine. 


Joseph Was Strategic/He Planned
I don't know how it was humanly possible to store enough food to last an entire population of Egypt for 7 Years... Let alone, having enough to give out to people who were not living in Egypt! Either their appetites weren't nearly as big as ours or something... But however it was done, definitely required a lot of time to plan. He mastered that..


Joseph didn't allow his "past" to determine his future...


It's hard to deal with when your own flesh and blood sells you into slavery.  How can you deal with that? I'm sure Joseph had a lot of time to think about it. He had to have experienced a lot of hurt and pain. But he was able to forgive and act on forgiveness... 

Those were a few things that I was able to pull from it.. Definitely a good thing to use to examine where I am.