The Continuation of Doubt

I'm not really sure why I come to those moments where I continue to doubt myself.  Doubt the progress that I've made.  I often try to convince myself that what I've accomplished in the past few years just simply isn't enough.  I focus on what I don't have instead of what I actually do have.  I focus on what I want, instead of what I need.  Overall, there are just those moments when I see things that aren't necessarily reality.

So, why am I writing this exactly?  Why am I sharing this part of my life in writing?

I just wanted to express my thoughts.

What I've been battling with back and forth for the past few weeks is figuring out if I have enough skill to actually get a job after graduation.  I've asked myself, "Do I have what it takes?"  "Is my resume good enough?" "Where am I going to go?" "Will I be looking for a job for a really long time?"   It's just crazy because when I start to doubt myself, the Lord sometimes always brings me back to see the real picture.  He allows me to see things for what they really are instead of allowing myself to pull back because of fear.  I spent quite a bit of time a few days ago looking at jobs, sending my resume to a few places.  The crazy thing about it all is the fact that I actually got a call back from three of the places that I applied.  My resume applied to be considered for an interview.  When I had talked to them about it, one of them was still wanting me to come in for an interview for a Winter position and the other two will be keeping my resume on file for when it gets closer to graduation.  I mean, it's probably not a BIG thing, but the fact that I am being considered for a position in my degree field with my resume, that isn't even complete, encouraged me a bit.  It is just exciting to me of all the possibilities that could happen when graduation gets closer.

I'm still planning to do grad school and hope to find something in Lynchburg for the duration of those two years, but the plus about Liberty is that with it being online,  I could work anywhere.  So during the break, I will 1. be working on my grad school application as well as my GSA application.  The deadline for it is May 1.  So I'm going to probably give myself until around Mid-April to find a job.  If I don't find anything, then I will apply for GSA. That will be my last resort, because I would like to earn more money in comparison to what the GSA position has to offer. So that is all up in the air.

But even though I tend to panic because I don't think that I have enough to offer, God definitely reminds me of the gifts that He has given me.  He has also reminded me that I can't do anything without His guidance.  So it has been pretty cool to see how everything is coming about.

Well, this was a pretty short post.  It was just something that I wanted to briefly touch on.

-Quayla