I Gave It Up

"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.  What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ"

"The very credentials these people are waving around as something special, I’m tearing up and throwing out with the trash—along with everything else I used to take credit for. And why? Because of Christ. Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant—dog dung. I’ve dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him"

"At one time all these things were important to me. But because of Christ, I decided that they are worth nothing. Not only these things, but now I think that all things are worth nothing compared with the greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. Because of Christ, I lost all these things, and now I know that they are all worthless trash. All I want now is Christ."

Philippians 3:7-8 (I provided three different versions)

I'm sitting here writing this note and my body is in chills. 

This semester, my RA partner and I are taking our leadership team, and hall through Philippians 3.  We're breaking it down verse by verse and digging deep into how to actually apply it to our personal lives. Not just looking at the verse and being like "oh, yeah, I know about that!"  But really taking the time to examine our lives and allowing the Lord the work.

The week that we went through verses 7-8, my team had a discussion about Paul.  How his life was seemingly something you'd think was worth bragging about.  In earlier verses of the chapter, Paul expressed how he had the "right" to have confidence in himself. "I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law.  I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault things that we surrendered to God." (5-6).  If you're not familiar with what this meant historically, this was a BIG deal. Again, Paul had the right to be proud.

But then Paul gets to verse 7 and 8 and he's like, "yeah, that's pointless. No big deal." I kid you not, the Philippians had to have been like, "You idiot! That IS A BIG DEAL." When it came to application, we talked about what were areas in our lives that were a big deal for us and how have we allowed our relationship with the Lord to take priority over that specific thing (if I'm explaining it clear enough).  I shared briefly about the areas in my life where I have done it and where it has brought me. But since then, the Lord has expounded so much deeper.

I want to let you know where this is headed...

While I could go into detail about every little thing that I'm involved in and am known by, I'll stick to one area because it has been the most important part of my life. Everyone who knows me knows that I am a HUGE sports fan. I'm naturally a soft spoken person, but when it comes to sports, I'm yelling, screaming, you name it. It gets pretty embarrassing sometimes.  Especially when I read sport news and make a comment about it to a girl on my hall.  They're clueless! Sports also make me more emotional than a guy could.

I've grown up playing basketball and was the stereotypical female basketball player.. tomboy with the cornrows. My parents spent thousands of dollars for me to play and pursue my dream of one day playing college ball and eventually play in the WNBA.  I love the game and everything about it.  But I also heavily enjoy football and have developed a new love for baseball and hockey. Growing up though, basketball was my life. Everything seemed to have gone in the right direction too.

But I went through a stumbling block..  I've told people the general idea about it, but not very many people heavily know the details.  I tore my ACL in the 8th grade. While tearing your ACL is pretty common and is usually only a temporary set back, mine was different.  I went to the ER the day after tearing it and was told that I only sprained my knee and my hamstrings were probably weak and I needed to strengthen it. I was told that I would be fine in about 3-4 weeks.  About five weeks passed and I started playing basketball again.  My knee was weak and would give out some, but I thought it was strictly due to my hamstrings being "weak". I strengthened it during the offseason.  Long story short, I played my entire Freshman year of HS with a torn ACL. That one year has caused problems to where now, I currently do not have a medial meniscus in my right knee and have been told by my doctor that I currently have arthritis. 

Basketball was my identity. 

Growing up, everyone knew that basketball was my thing. I would say that my HS freshman year was my prime.  I have been able to hold my own defensively against seniors who have committed to D1 schools. I foresaw that I would continue to improve and by the time I hit my senior year, I would have schools flocking for me.  Looking back, I noticed that basketball, sports in general was my idol.  It was what I served. When I had to physically give it up, I didn't know what to do since it was my identity. I played my junior year, but I decided that I wasn't going to play my senior year due to a second surgery to remove my meniscus. I could've played, but I realized that it wouldn't have been very smart.  At the start of my senior year, I had been contacted by two schools to come for recruiting, and to come to my games.  Having to type that e-mail stating that I wasn't going to be playing basketball in my senior year because of a pre-existing injury crushed me.  It was hard.  

At that moment, I decided that I was definitely going to give up sports when the time came for me to. I started to make adjustments to take interests in other things besides sports, including photography.  I graduated and enrolled into Liberty as a journalism major. I had my life planned out to how I wanted it done. But for some reason, I knew it wasn't what God wanted me to do.  In my freshman year at LU, I would often be asked "what do you want to do with journalism?" My response: "Well, I want to do sports, but I don't think that's what God wants me to do, so I'm just waiting."  

I decided to get the wise idea of asking the Lord to work on my patience and my obedience. I am the BIGGEST planner.  While I'm flexible with spontaneity and could deal with it, I don't like it.  I have planned my entire four year course plans in my freshman year. But when I asked the Lord to reveal to me what He wants me to do with my life, He literally made sure that I learned to be patient. He told me where I was going to go to college later than when I wanted to know. He even told me to change my major from Journalism to doubling in Broadcasting and Public Relations at the last possible semester. I have to admit, it was frustrating.  I constantly used the complaint "God, I don't want to be doing something that I'm not supposed to be doing to help advance Your kingdom! Tell me asap please!?" To this day, I don't know exactly what He wants me to do. He's leading me, and I'm following and I don't care if I look stupid. 

Well, while I was seemingly "waiting" for the Lord to tell me what He wanted me to do with my life, I allowed Him to take control over my desire to pursue sports and told Him that when I needed to give it up, I will. Because of my willingness.. the Lord has managed to keep me involved in sports. My freshman year, I was on the hall with girls on the track team. I wrote for the sports section for a semester with Liberty's newspaper.  I did camera operation for Hockey games. I was a Prayer Leader last year and am now a Resident Assistant for the hall that houses the Women's basketball team. Right now, I have an internship with the Athletics Marketing department.  I utilize my hall theme, which is "Not a Fan" (not being fans of Christ, but completely committed followers of Him), around the idea of my approach towards sports.  Because I was willing to give up sports for so long, the Lord has still somehow managed to use me to minister to others through it. He's using me, and I'm growing.

But as my junior year is beginning to close and as I repeatedly referred back to Phil. 3:7-8, the Lord finally asked.  

"Quayla, are you ready to give it up?" 

At the beginning of February, I had every intention to remain an RA for the Women's basketball team and pretty much knew that I had priority to my request since I was a returning RA.  I wanted to do my Broadcasting internship with the Athletics department. Everything was going to be great for my senior year.  But then the week or two before RA placements were going to be made for the 2013-14 school year, things did not go as expected and the option to move to a different part of campus arose. I have to admit, I was a little reluctant to "definitely" making that decision.  I just told 3 different RDs that I was flexible and I could really go anywhere so that I didn't have to make the decision for myself.  

In the end, I got placed to where I need to be next year. Though it will be a major adjustment for me, I am more than excited about it because I'm doing it because God told me to. I'm doing it because it is an avenue that is bringing me soo much closer to Him. You shouldn't expect to grow in your relationship with the Lord when you're being disobedient.  Even now, as I'm in the process of preparing for a hall theme next year, I've been instructed by Him to not associate it with sports by any means.  

"Quay..... it's time to give it up."

I have had so many clear encounters with the Lord telling me things, but this by far was the most clear.  It's not that I need to remove myself from enjoying sports, it was just time to give up having it as such a large portion of my life.  The interesting thing about it is how it has all started to manifest in very noticeable areas:

Especially as March Madness has started.  Last year, I spent HOURS researching and formulating my bracket.  This year, I spent all of 10 minutes.  Other than attending/working Liberty sporting events, I have not watched a single college basketball game this season. 

Even as I'm looking for my Broadcasting internship, I'm not going to pursue one for sports and I'm perfectly fine with it.

Sports is insignificant. My accomplishments through sports is insignificant.  My love for sports is insignificant.

For something to be so dear to my heart, I never thought it would be this easy. 

I....gave...it..up.